Forlorn.of.thee (fa'lo:n ŭv thē), p, my only strength and stay,forlorn of thee, whither shall I betake me, where subsist?
Paradise Lost by John Milton
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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Real Bankers?


I issued a cheque this week. For those who don't know what a cheque is, it's a piece of paper signed by me, addressed to my bank, asking them to Pay: xxx the sum of $xx. Unfortunately, the person I gave the cheque to, misplaced it.

Logged into online banking expecting to find a stop cheque function. Couldn't find one. Rang the helpdesk...

Indian: ANZ, how can I help you today?
Me: I'm looking for the on-line stop cheque function thanks.
Indian:......silence.... Let me put you through to my supervisor.
Aussie voice: ANZ, how can I help you today?
Me: I'm looking for the on-line stop cheque function thanks.
Aussie voice: ... er... You'll have to go down to the branch.
Me: Hmmmm....ok
Aussie voice: Is there anything I can help you with?
Me thinking.... Grrrrrrr!

Down at the branch
Teller: Good afternoon
Me: I'd like to put a stop payment of a cheque I issued please.
Teller...... blank look......
Me: I issued a cheque, the payee lost it and I would like to put a stop on it, thank you.
Teller...... looking round for help.......
(Ha! He was the only teller this lunchtime, barely 20, no doubt with his University degree).
Teller: Please have a seat, I'll get the Business Manager to see you.

Wait 30 minutes

Business Manager: How can I help you today?
(OK, have to admit, she's very pretty, barely 25, with her MBA)
Me: I'd like to put a stop payment on a cheque I issued please.
Business Manager: er.... let me see...
Me: Look, you'll need my bank account details, the cheque number.
Business Manager: OK 
(starts jotting down the details on her scratch pad)
Me: Will you need any other information.
Business Manager: No, that's fine. I'll see to it that this is done.

What, ask the Branch Manager when he gets back from lunch? She doesn't even have the payee details, amount, issue date and the most important, my agreement to the Stop Cheque Fee!

My rant for the day. Bankers W*nkers!

5 comments:

Yoganinja said...

proof of the dumbing down of the world. How can they not know a simple, common bank procedure. Sometimes it's scary seeing the ignorance and incompetence.

Mary said...

Totally infuriating. The world is dumbing down. Computers make customer service just a word and not an action.

Young Werther said...

Maybe it's just me using cheques, the kids nowadays have never even seen one, they just wave their mobile phone and bills are paid...

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