Forlorn.of.thee (fa'lo:n ŭv thē), p, my only strength and stay,forlorn of thee, whither shall I betake me, where subsist?
Paradise Lost by John Milton

Friday, August 29, 2008

Secrets, mateship and the sisterhood

Mates and friends. Had me wondering as I was chatting with a Stateside friend, she mentioned that she was really pissed off with a mutual girlfriend.

“I called her but she never returned my call. I can’t believe it, and to do this to another sister too. I can’t believe she lies to me.”

She didn’t lie, she just didn’t call. Does not sharing a secret constitute a lie? The sisterhood, one of the most powerful bonds of friendship, based on intimacy, sharing, confiding of secrets and asking of advice. Everything is expected to be shared, news of lovers, break-ups, lead-ups, everything. So was this a betrayal?

Over a glass of wine with some European ladies, they said that they do not tell their 'friends' everything. Note the difference, 'friends' not 'sisters'.

The French gentleman sitting next to me chirped in “I was working in New York before coming to Sydney, I was totally shocked when my partner’s girlfriends knew everything, I mean everything.”

Is this limited to the States, is it limited to certain age groups?

What about guys. Guys brag but do they ever tell each other their deepest darkest secrets. From my experience, no. Guys do not share. Stems from the Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson big silent type I guess.

So can a bloke be part of the sisterhood fraternity? Anything is possible, I mean men are wearing mascara and using moisturiser nowadays.

Can a girl be a mate? Or are guys only after one thing?


huiiting-clht said...


I feel that this occurs in my life context too... i will tell my 'sisters' everything and likewise is expected that she do the same...

Aoide said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Loving Annie said...

A lie of omission is the same as a lie of commission. I'm big on having everything on the table.

And I always try to return phone calls promptly because friends are there for their friends. It's a give and take, reciprocated easily out of wanting to...

I think men and women can be friends, but the circumstances have to be conducive to there really be no sexual enegry /chemistry there between the two people.

Young Werther said...

Divulge everything, something, each to their own I guess.

Annie, bingo! Your observation is spot on once again "men and women can be friends, but there be... no sexual energy nor chemistry".

Trixie said...

I do tell my 'sisters' everything.

In fact, I tell everybody everything.

No hold bar with me.

But can men be 'friends?' I don't think so. Not as close as female friends. There is always some sort of attraction there.

Young Werther said...

Trixie: what happened to that mysterious seductive woman if you tell all?