Forlorn.of.thee (fa'lo:n ŭv thē), p, my only strength and stay,forlorn of thee, whither shall I betake me, where subsist?
Paradise Lost by John Milton

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Mix n match

* Warning - may offend *

Religion, the cause of so many problems in our world. Watching the Georgian and Russian beach volleyball girls hug (nudge nudge wink wink) at the Olympics, made me wonder, if one could pick the “best” practices from each religion, wouldn’t the world be a better place?

One World, One Belief, One Religion? **

Let’s start with polygamy. Those lucky Muslims come to mind and recent research suggests that polygamy is the key to a long life. Published in the New Scientist no less. So, how many wives should a guy take. Sixteen? 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer and 4 poorer.

On sex… Friday evenings for a Jewish bloke includes the commandment that a man make love to his wife not just that night, but all throughout the next day (Saturday)!

A Jewish man's obligation, enshrined in the marriage contract, that he sexually satisfy his wife. A wife's sexual dissatisfaction is grounds for divorce. Unfortunately “satisfy” is not defined :)

How about the Catholic’s sacrament of confession? Isn’t it wonderful to have one’s sin forgiven by merely whispering it to a priest in a dark box …

“Father... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The Priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son! And you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week usually on Friday and the whole day Saturday."

The Priest said, "By doing that, you placed yourselves in great danger. However, two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind but I do have one more question."

"And what is that, my son?" asked the Priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

** Not aware if this is a TM slogan.


Aoide said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Young Werther said...

Aoide, I know a source of cheap Russian Cialis and Viagra.

Hang on a sec, should that be Russian brides?

Loving Annie said...

It would be a much more peaceful and ultimately happier world if people didn't insist on their religion being the only one that was right, and instead let people worship quietly in peace, minding their own business and not their neighbors' with their beliefs.

Young Werther said...

Annie, spot on !