Forlorn.of.thee (fa'lo:n ŭv thē), p, my only strength and stay,forlorn of thee, whither shall I betake me, where subsist?
Paradise Lost by John Milton
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Sunday, March 30, 2008

2 days in Paris


Once in a while you come across something, an event, a picture, photo, a movie, a song or a scene that strikes a chord. Watched 2 days in Paris over the weekend. So many scenes I can relate to, laughed, cried...

This is Marion's epilogue...

To sum up the 4 hours of discussion that follows, It's not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are with all their flaws and baggage.

Jack confessed his fear of being rejected, if I truly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me. Jack realised after 2 years of being with me, that he didn't know me at all, nor did I know him. And to truly love each other we need to know the truth about each other, even if it's not so easy to take...

So I told him the truth, which was I'd never cheated on him and I also told him that I just saw Mathieu that afternoon. He did not get mad at me because nothing had happened, of course.

I confessed to Jack that the toughest thing to me was to decide to be with some one for good, the idea that this is it, this is the man I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. To decide that I will make the effort to stay and work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem. It is very difficult for me.

I told him that I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life, it was a lie but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters. I thought it was quite funny.

Then he said something that hurt my feelings... the tone changed drastically, then I misunderstood what he was saying. I thought he meant that he didn't love me any more and that he wanted to break up...

It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. Nothing... It hurts so much.

When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing.

Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one.

When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.

4 comments:

Adventurer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Loving Annie said...

Young Werther,
Having love in all its angst and problems is better than never knowing it at all...
A poignant post from you...
2 days from Paris... What we will remember at the end of our lives - which moments, which people ?

Loving Annie said...

So I am baffled - where is Aoide ??? She posted a comment to me on my blog, and I don't know whether to comment back to her here - or elsewhere. Please help :)

Loving Annie said...

Werther, would you be willing to give me her e-mail again - if it is okay with Aoide ? Thanks.